It’s the wee hours of the morning, I look for two blue diamond stones fixed on a sea of expressions, a row of pearls giggling in calling me “silly”. I try to touch her delicate nails and hold her expert hands, but she remains distant like the reflection on a disturbed pond. And I fall asleep listening to the footsteps of her long awaited coming. 08.08.20.
I met Ms. Monroe today, in all her melancholy beauty. Her lips gripped me like the hands of Aphrodite, hence this little tribute to the soul of the goddess. When she returns from the alt-world to dream away the night, may the holy trinity comfort her home and toil. 11.08.20.
Aloof and alone, like a hidden gem in a secret silky cocoon, waiting to be free as though a newly minted butterfly, only the truth of her heart outshines the glow of her buttery velvet skin. 08.08.20.
Though I knew the road was long and treacherous, I thought I had found a companion in you. It was a good start while it lasted; however the morning doesn’t always show the day. By no fault of ours but in our stars, your inertia and my incompetence made a deadly cocktail. Now we doubt, hesitate or avoid; money can’t buy peace of mind forever. Should I see you again or take a hiatus? Would it be wiser to forget before confronting our mutual fears? Or is it prudent to try until the Great Wall falls in tatters? 15.08.20
She had a few stock English but just enough to communicate passion and pleasure. Like a bohemian Gypsie-lady, she stops from townships to townships; her dedication to the trade makes the sudden feelings last much longer than the shadows of the sun. I am not the one to judge by her accent for I utter a heavy one as well; but I will surly judge her eyes. Are they benign or do I see the red eyes of the devil like the constant break lights of the preceding vehicle on the plains of the Canadian prairie nights? At times I detect love in her eyes, sometimes I find the fires of greed! 18.08.20
Heartbeats, breathing, blood-flow, orgasm, perspiration, sleep, and stream of thoughts: things that are most intimate and personal yet sans control; today I hand over to thee, the eccentric mystery lady who loves to read Hemingway and psychology. 20.08.20.
I was alone for a long long time, lost in the chain of my own thoughts. I was trying to discover something that always came to the back of my mind but never to the tip of my expressions. That ‘thing’ I saw in my dreams, that feeling during feverish deliriums, that taste that I carried over as if from my previous life; always just above the surface like the nostrils of a crocodile under water, but never to be seen unless one is shaking hands with danger. I was looking for that ‘thing’ in the yonder, when I suddenly remembered a verse from Tagore. Like a bolt of lightning, I understood the true meaning of it and I understood the ‘thing’. I know now what it means to find something that is hidden away in the vaults of one’s own mind, I can fathom what looking inwards entails. I have discovered ‘you’ finally, the radar of my life; and all my doubts, trepidations, confusions, disorientations, and unhappiness have melted away like the winter ice under a brilliant spring sun. Aug. 20, 2020
She is beautiful yet horrible, which makes my spirits gay yet miserable. I guess I failed to understand the subtle differences between the tunes of a Sitar and a Sarod: the former stringy and wavy while the latter like a coin in an empty tin-pot. I see that Acadian beauties are often tall and precarious. However, my secret companion, which one of Tolstoy’s four lives are you living : suicidal, epicurean, ignorant, or wretched? Aug. 21, 2020
It takes a lot of calories to make a mental connection; at times, far more than physical labour. Sometimes, we fall into the sunk cost fallacy and stay in a relationship due to the fear of loosing that established, predictable, safe, and comfortable connection. Worse still, we are gripped by the greater fear of having to form new ones; for there could be no ecstasy without intimacy. Every so often, I wonder, how does a promiscuous person find the mental agility to move about from connections to connections, as if a glider in the air: with effortless acrobatics? Perhaps, they have a depository compartment in their souls to store away the innermost memories like the embalmed corpses of ancient Egyptian tombs. Aug. 23, 2020
To her I said, “how do you do?”
Replied she, “might forget thee, I too.”
That’s alright, so far as you treat me
Like the king of the heavens and with glee.
Though with you my audiences are short,
Accept my tributes and sincere thought.
At the sight of your brunette and of my coming,
when testosterone and estrogen cometh running,
Promise to kiss and stiffen me by thy caress
And allow me to enter the sweetest recess
Of your Temple, and I shan’t complain,
Even if you throw me out like damaged grain.
Aug. 24, 2020
They say thou have moved on from here;
But where have you vanished to, my fair?
I lied to myself that I didn’t write for thee,
And my poems are dedicated only to me.
Now I realize, o my shooting star!
My verses shall be elongated far
Unto your abbey, where you contemplate
A discreet future and shred
Thy past’s negative template.
Your departure has been one that is strange,
Sudden, and made me sorry;
For no one so willingly gives up one’s glory.
I knew your kith was not
The most responsive or reliable,
Yet I thought our interviews were tenable.
Now you’ve fleeted as though candy made of floss;
Never to be heard from again,
Aug. 26, 2020
I know I matter to you not.
I am but a number for you,
As if a dollar bill in the hands of a bank clerk.
Like flipping another burger at a fast food joint,
You care not for me, I know that.
I’m, as though, a snail on the rocky shores
Of a sea that children pick up in wonder,
Play with, and throw away carelessly.
I am that cold sales call,
The rat in the barn,
The ant on the sleeve,
The bug in the backyard.
If you wish you can make
Apple pie of me or can
Dump me in the bin like
A bag of rotten okra.
I know I don’t exist for you,
Like the spam email folder of your Yahoo.
Our limbic system always
Gets the better of our frontal cortex;
That’s why we go to places
We shouldn’t be in,
And be with persons
We shouldn’t be with,
And taste, literally, the acids
Of the female flower so illogically.
We vote against our interests
And remain enchanted by
The imaginary cohesion of nations.
We double down on aphrodisiacs
and opium, shunning the
“Holy” waters of the Zamzam.
We worship anthropomorphic beings
And follow prehistoric constitutions;
Heck! we even fight to appoint arbiters
To conserve our mental constructs.
We invent states of nature and
Social contracts and “free” hands
Of the market constantly, and discretely,
Extracting surplus fiat money.
We dig up dart or geophysical
Instances valued at millions.
We waste ourselves, reminisce,
Write prose and verses, mount the Sinai,
And wish the dead became alive
And time didn’t fly.
Yet, at the end of the day,
We are as hapless as an abandoned
Egg of a fowl in the middle
Of the downtown.
Eventually, we all hit a wall of grief
Even after a decade since an incident;
The world comes crumbling
Down on us along
The bulldozed ancestral home.
But, will you come sit at my table,
Amigo, and try to understand
Where I come from after travelling
All these thousands of leagues?
Oct. 22, 2020
The constant pendulum
That is your heart,
Keeps me guessing and
Knocks me off-guard.
Perhaps, you failed to realize
That I, too, am very quixotic,
For I can play La Alhambra
Just like the Most Illustrious Segovia
Yet chime the tunes most caustic.
I gather you misconstrued
When I expressed my disenchantment.
I know not why, for I wasn’t speaking
In the tongue of Tagore,
Rather as crisply as the finest English apple.
Under the mystery of your laughing mask
Your true metal is still veiled like
A bosom made of charcoal
Hidden under a sorcerer’s garment.
You know, dearie, borrowed lunar light
Cannot perpetually outshine
True glows emanated
By veritable stars;
However distant they may be.
And do remember: we appreciate jackfruits
Not for its appearance but for its qualities.
Therefore, before I get further sucked into
The bottomless pit
Of the black hole of your deceit;
Before all my fluids of amour dry up
And turn into the heaps of
dead fall-leaves of maple trees;
Let me cut the cord
And detach the stillborn;
Let me bid farewell.
As the adage has it:
There are no free magic;
Hence Let me leave your cult
With Some comity still intact.
Oct. 02, 2020
I saw you through the window;
There weren’t any blinds on.
You were wearing a pair of shorts
And a t-shirt.
Next time, when you invited me,
You were standing behind the door,
As is customary,
Wearing a long black gown
Matching your long black hair,
And dark, piercing eyes.
Now, whenever I am in a crowded place,
Jolly or otherwise,
I always excuse myself
And walk away for a bit;
Pretending to climb the hill,
Or observe the oaks,
Or examine the tiny grass-flowers,
Or listen to the sweet, soft rhythm of the waves,
Like the ones Alexa fetches from the air when I sleep.
Under the guise of such innocuous activities,
I, actually, take the time to remember you,
To mourn you,
To imagine you,
To converse with you,
To taste you again,
And to long for you.
Sept. 16, 2020
I am a witness to thine immense power:
I have seen you squeeze an hour into just half
By effortless motions of thy nimble fingers;
I have watched you conjure up money out of thin air
With such ease as though you were the Fed’s Chair;
You keep strong, tall, muscular men waiting on the walkway
Outside your domicile, while they fidget about
Wearing the anxious faces of frightened rodents;
You use your invisibility cloak so frequently
That eminent men employ in vain
All the magic of ancient algorithms.
Such is thy power that to get an audience with you,
We close deals with Rumpelstiltskin;
Make Faustian bargains;
And happily borrow from Shylock.
Sept. 15, 2020